Be mindful and don't despair

In the name of Allah the most gracious, the most merciful.

 

27 April 2015.

Despairing is not good for the soul. Whether you can’t find a house to rent; going in for an operation to have screws and wires inserted in your ankle; can’t find a job or a bursary or have to receive treatment for an illness, it’s easy to slip into that mode.  One of the key things to do is to distract oneself from thoughts that cannot be helpful. It’s easy to give advice “think good thoughts, happy thoughts”. But it is both the mind and body that needs to be arrested from despondency. So I bake and I write and I work and I decide to polish the pots and cutlery. I organise my thoughts and revisit my tasks. And then I am out in the garden for solace in the beautiful fiesta of fuchsia, I keep an eye on the chrysalis still on the wall, I separate clumps of wild garlic and I plant turmeric - shukran to Adnaan who bought it at Soil for Life with talons.

What always helps me is knowing that Allah SWT will not give me more than I can bear. And over time I have found a hundred different ways to cope. I start with a thankful list and I write it by hand. There’s a certain kind of soothing when you clutch the pen as your hand glides over paper. I have done this countless times and every time I am surprised at all of the small things one has to be thankful for.

Like being thankful to family and friends who are actually there when they say they are. That your belly does not ache of hunger; that you have good health and most of your teeth; that there is a roof over your head; that you got invited and sponsored for a once in a lifetime educational trip; that your children are caring and amazing; that your husband takes the time to sit you down, make you a cup of tea and a warm hug and you’re good to go; that your cats mew, look you in the eye, jump up on your bed and make themselves comfortable at your back while you’re typing.

Be thankful that you have a few tins of groceries in your cupboard and two rolls of double ply and not a lot of dirty laundry and that food you got from your host at the wedding, will make your neighbour so happy when you share it. Be thankful that there is a last pound of butter in the fridge and the last bits of coconut to make hertsoggies and the last of the cocoa and milk to brew a pot. Be thankful if you can call a friend and ask for some seedlings and he rocks up with a tray of spinach and a tray of turnips, 400 of them.

Be mindful that despite everything that you are enduring there is someone in more pain, more hungry, more worried, more confused, more devastated by earthquakes and phenomena outside of their control, battling their demons and hopeful against all odds. Be mindful that a percentage of the world is at war and that someone lost a limb or daughter or a baby or a loved one or all of them at once. Think about those who have lost their sight or had their bodies put together with plates and wires and are in excruciating pain and those who have woken up from a stroke. Think about children and young women who have been abducted and there is no help coming. Or those who have tortured their souls with drugs.

But most of all just step outside and breath in deeply and appreciate the garden and the caterpillars  and the greenery and if you don’t have a garden then look up into the sky and contemplate your Lord. And if none of that works, well then I don’t know, hey. I am sitting here with those warmly baked hertsoggies and cocoa and grateful just to be alive and to be safe and loved and I send duahs for those who despair and also for those who need them for tomorrow's operation.

Plant food and don’t despair.

Later Yasmine.